Over the hump, dealing with disappointment
May 25th, 2007
Oh the time’s a flyin’. According to my ledger, I’m 59.14% of the way through my Peace Corps service, barring an extension or an early termination. According to the Peace Corps Cycle of Feelings, I’m entering the dangerous “Disillusion with development work, self doubt, and feeling of being time constrained by the ever nearing end of service date.” I regret not actually having that particular hand-out in my possession as I write this on the couch in my house, as it truly is a beautiful bureaucratic document, serving at once everyone and no one, kind of like a horoscope. However, just as this week’s predictions for Scorpio seem to fit (an interesting opportunity will present itself, stay away from the color orange, lucky numbers 27, 11, and 18), I feel like I’m pretty accurately summed up by the Peace Corps’ mood gauge.
So what causes the disillusionment that the “average” Peace Corps Volunteer feels? I think a contributing factor to this is the number of “corpses” that one sees alongside the international development highway. Last month it was a fully equipped processing plant which has been gathering dust for years. It’s the mayor opting to buy a new car for the mayor’s office (read: personal use) instead of purchasing a tract of land so that the European Union will construct a school on it. And most dispiriting at all is the cycle I so often see in my own projects:
1) We have a problem
2) We identify the problem and various solutions
3) We delegate responsibility
4) A minor problem complicates the situation
5) Nothing is done.
Reflecting on past attempts by others at projects here in my site of San Marcos de Ocotepeque, I see so many well intentioned ideas, so much time spent, material purchased, but at the end of it all, there’s almost nothing to show. No changed behavior, no progress.
I often attribute this to people simply not wanting to work. Unconsciously, they make the decision that the work needed to accomplish the goal is not worth the discounted value of the goal. That is to say, they don’t value a reward in the future as much as they value a smaller reward in the present. It’s the same idea as choosing between the option of having a dollar today and two dollars a year from now. Everyone would take the dollar today. But what if it were a dollar today and a hundred dollars a year from now?
I would take the hundred. The aid recipient who chooses not to do the work today for the reward tomorrow is taking the one dollar bill.
This makes me ask myself, will some people always be poor? The standard middle-upper class Honduran will tell you: I worked hard, and I still work hard, and that’s why I have a house and enough to eat. Of course, what he’s not telling you, and neither is the middle class American, is that he had a bunch of help along the way. Ok, fine, that’s the idea of development work: we’re here to provide the helping hand to pull you up so that you are able to support yourself on your own. But it takes a large effort on the recipient’s end, who is severely discounting that possibility of reward at the end of the hard work.
That’s the cycle.
Could it be the influence of this cycle that affects the Peace Corps Volunteer? Most people judge themselves on the visible fruits of their labor. In the cycle I described above, there are no results, only frustration.
June 6th 2007
I wrote that entry last week, at the height of frustration. Re-reading it now doesn’t change my opinion much, but it makes me think of some new questions:
How do we identify a willing participant in international development? There needs to be a greater focus on partnership between recipient and donor. This is generally attempted by requiring the community to contribute labor or money. Is this enough?
What do we do about the non willing participant? Are they relegated to standing in line to get a bag of rice instead of attending a class on how to plant rice? Is there any other option for this “eternally poor” group?
How do you keep the aid worker connected to the aid recipient? I have found that the “cure” for these blues can be as simple as working on something where I am no better or more qualified than the Hondurans on the project. For example: construction, manual labor, etc. I’ll go to the women’s coop and cut jalapeños or go help lay bricks for a greenhouse. I find I become more disconnected when I’m explaining a new system or organization or teaching a class on excel because I’m far beyond the Honduran’s level of skill. It’s important for both donor and recipient to identify common ground and experience.
So those are some reflections, I’d appreciate your thoughts and comments, or just an update of how you’re doing. Also, check out the new pics that are located in the New Pics section. The link is on the sidebar to the right.
Bart Kogan said,
June 6, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Hey Bro,
Time does fly. Anyway, your astute observations could lead to frustration but you can only do your best. The dillema is that, yes, it is easier to help people by doing the same thing they do or can do than to teach them knew things that you may know better than they do.
Problem is the new things will propel them further and, as you say, be that $100 down the road.
It is not you being disconnected but them not being open to the new stuff. Them not wanting to work, as you say, is scary to me but not surprirsing. I have no answer for that.
You are there to provide a “hand” not a handout but if they are not up to receiivng it results are limited. Not your fault but you know this deep down.
As we know there is a “solution to every problem” but “a problem for every solution which can get in the way. Even stateside or on capital hill!
Bottom line is you are doing a great job down there and i am proud to share Brotherhood with you in particular and share space with you on this planet as a member of the human race.
59.14% and counting.
AEKDBart
Robert L. Pirtle said,
June 6, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Dear Peter,
How I understand your frustration! You might be interested to know that it coincides with our experience with American Indian tribes to a tee! How many times I’ve tried to get the tribal council to amend the tribal constitution to bring it up to legal “snuff” so that economic development could flourish, only to have it all fall apart as the Tribe gradually loses interest. At Makah it was 11 years of work which they suddenly let slide for three or four years, then put the jazzy new constitution to a vote long after the entire Tribe had forgotten how good it was and how they all participated in its development. The vote failed! And how many times I tried to get industrial projects started, only to have the tribe hire tribal members with no experience, pay them wages comparable to expert nonIndians on the outside, then sit back while nothing is done and the project folds completely.
But Peter, sometimes a success happens, so buck up, keep working at it; you may well be planting seeds which will not germinate until you are gone, but which will then grow into beautiful successes!
Best wishes from Jennifer and me,
Robert
Matt said,
June 8, 2007 at 10:55 pm
Peter,
You have described parenthood. The only difference is you are fairly sure your kids will grow out of their childhood. It seems that frustration may seem to come from differences, and finding similarities will help you relate, but it seems no matter which groups I have managed, given I have not managed any groups in central America and therefore cannot tell you how to bridge a gap that large, but all groups resist change unless they can benefit right away. I might point out the 2004 election as a finer point on that observation, as even americans resist change unless they know what it will bring with it, and that the benefit is actually a benefit to themselves. I digress.
People seem to adapt to change, when it no longer seems like a change, so doing what you do over and over again, eventually people will eventually accept it as something normal. I would imagine your mom is probably the best cousel on such a topic.
I don’t know if this qualifies as advice but here goes: as parents of teens will tell you, when you talk to toddlers you don’t think they are listening, but when they grow up and repeat, or better act as you have asked/instructed you know your repetition was required, and worth the effort.
Bottom line, your efforts are worth it and eventually people will understand what you are teaching them, you may not be around to witness it. So, if you are frustrated by your efforts, if you cannot benefit others, at least you are learning and benefitting yourself.
Charles Fortenberry said,
June 9, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Peter, I read everything that you post. I call San Marcos my adopted home. I do understand where you are coming from too. Some of the things that they tell me that they need for the hospital is readly available in Honduras with the only difference being if they call me, I pay for it and then fly down and install it. I know that some of the things that I carry to them, they could install them as good as i can but not one time have I ever sent any kind of equipment to them through the mail that got to them. UPS does have service to Honduras but the only kind that they offer is next day and the costs are out of this world. It is still eaiser for me to just buy it and fly down plus I do enjoy being there. I have not been there in a few years because I broke my back and n ow I have steel plates in my back and it is hard for me to be able to handle my bags and what ever i am carying to the hospital alone and my friend that I used to always take with me died two years ago and I have not tried to make a trip there since then. I will go later this year or next I do hope. Charles is Mississippi
Uncle John said,
June 12, 2007 at 3:06 am
Hey Peter-
What great comments, your post has incited!
Like Matt, I like the parenting analogy. E.g., You are there. They know it is because of your caring, not for the $. They like you. They like your smile, your work ethic, and probably even the fact that you’re frustrated once in a while. You give them hope. They sense, from you, that they are not alone in the world. They may not change–ever. Change is perhaps an ideal, but not a single goal.
Your Excel students may excel in making circular references. You web site may generate 404 errors. But you will be different. And German and Sr. X and Sra. Y and Senorita Z will be better for having known you. They may well surprise you with what they’ve learned.
Everything else is gravy.
P.S. To Charles in Mississippi: Let Peter know when you have stuff to carry down to San Marcos. Who knows; other bloggers may be on their way there, and have baggage allowances…
P.P.S. Have you considered a cartoon strip along the lines of a localized version of Dilbert?
Charles Fortenberry said,
July 2, 2007 at 12:02 am
Peter, just hang in there. You are doing great and they really are learning from you, you just cant see it yet. Your efforts will be felt for a long time. Several years ago when I was down there a couple of times in just a few weeks, there were two peace corps girls down there and both of them were working at one of the banks. I really don’t know if there is more than one because I just use the one that is next to the drug store and the lady there knows me and speaks English because I sure don’t speak spanish. Back a few years ago, I was there so often that the hospital made me a pass so I would not have trouble geting in and out. Well, we always fly into San Pedro Sula then after we get all of out freight checked and loaded on a bus, it is always after dark on a Friday night when I finally do get to San Marcos. I am the only one staying there because the rest of the group goes on up in the mountains where they work while we are there. One night I had boxes of freight for the hospital and a new guard was on duty that did not know me and he didn’t want me to get to unload all the boxes so I just did what I have a reputition of doing quiet well. I just got very loud and threw a [FORTENBERRY FIT]. He didn;t like it but I sure did unload everything inside the hospital. As long as you are there, things will change everyday. Some things always work well then somethings don’t so I just do it my way and getaway with it. Now when I am at the hospital, a guy comes from the radio station and talks to me over the radio. I have no idea what good it does but the people at the hospital always look forward to it. I know that i am getting long so take care and I will be thinking about you. I do hope that we get to meet one day. Charles